Sex is for every body — as long as the person you are being intimate with is a consenting adult. Representation is important because everyone is entitled to a healthy and fulfilling sex life. While some people with disabilities are asexual, the majority want and have sex.
Why is it that when navigating experiences of sexual marginalization, we are so often pressured into traps of disavowal? To disclaim, dismiss and deny the messy, fleshy trails our bodies followed before and may seek to travel again? When encountering questions of sex and disability, the overemphasis on whether or not crips have been either desexualized or hypersexualized is a necessary and important social critique, and yet it also enforces the notion that the experience of crip sex only offers insight into the experience of discrimination.
The changes that come with a spinal cord injury can be difficult and frustrating to deal with. We spoke to Ginette, an SCI patient who uses an intermittent catheter and is living with cauda equina at L5S1, and transverse myelitis C1C7, about her experience rediscovering sex after her injury. For Ginette, just thinking about sex was something that happened a good two years after her first diagnosis.
It was exciting; there was spontaneity, but most of all it was normal. But three years ago, it became a whole new territory she had to traverse. Always vouching for her body—it made her feel like a broken record and she worried what people would think.
Skip navigation! Story from Wellness. Angela Rockwood lies still as her boyfriend reaches to grab her feet.
Have you ever gone up to a stranger in the street and asked them about their sex life? No, neither have I. This forbidden juxtaposition of disability and sex is all too familiar, and we really need to start opening up the conversation and breaking boundaries.
While able-bodied people often wonder if a wheelchair diminishes sex, those of us in a wheelchair know differently. Sex in your wheelchair can be everything and anything you might desire from sex: passionate, intimate, rough, silly, kinky, spontaneous… the list is as varied as your desires. And there are a lot of possibilities. People might assume that a wheelchair limits the positioning options for sex, but the range of positions you can attempt in a wheelchair is delightfully long.
But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapistto help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions will remain anonymous.
Here, she gives us her top tips for wheelchair users on everything from dating to getting intimate. So you may need to tweak these tips to apply them to your specific situation. But these will give you a springboard to finding the right partner and enjoying sex. These might be focused on dating, or on leisure activities.